Sarah

Age: 42. Female. Straight.

Age 12

The Presidents CD Romantic

First kiss. A youth group dance party at the JCC. He gave me a Presidents of the United States of America CD for Valentine's Day. No tongue. No sparks. But my diary entry was basically fireworks.

Age 16

The Gay Smoker

We were both counselors at camp. Lean, aloof, smelled like sunscreen and Marlboros. I was obsessed. He came out four years later, which honestly just confirmed his hotness.

Age 21

The Bureaucratic Lover

Childhood friend turned "first time". I confessed my virginity. He said, "We should fix that." We did. It was awkward and oddly bureaucratic.

Age 24

The One Who Made Breakfast

We met at a downtown bar while I was in grad school. The sex was meh, but he was studying mechanical engineering and playing in a band, which felt promising. He made breakfast in bed. Four months later, he dumped me to "focus on his music."

Age 25

The Internet Cafe BitePhobic

I was travelling Thailand. It was an internet café flirtation turned hotel-bar rendezvous. On our second night shagging at my guest house, I bit his shoulder. He ghosted. My sexual experimentation phase lasted exactly one nibble.

Age 26

The Almost Forever

We moved in together. He was open to converting for me. After a year and a half, we outgrew each other in slow motion. We broke up when he left for grad school and I was so relieved.

Age 27

The Clumsy Journalist

A journalist that spilled wine all over himself on our first date. It was a setup. I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious. He said he only did serious. Fifteen years, two kids, and one mortgage later, he was right.

Disclaimer: All names and identifiable details have been modified to protect the reputations of our contributors in the eyes of their partners, colleagues, and parents.

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