Liam

Age 39. Male. Bisexual.

Age 14

The Movie Theatre Makeout

First movie date. We made out hard in a movie theatre. I consider it better than my first kiss, which was at youth leader camp. Not into it.

Age 16

The One That Didn't Work

My highschool girlfriend. We tried to have sex but it didn't work - no condom, no lube, no experience. We ended up calling it quits and snuggling instead.

Age 19

The Not-Really-A-Joke

He looked like a Jonas Brother. He was my brother's friend and he did it "as a joke" but I had a huge crush on him.

Age 23

The Gravedigger

A Mortician I dated. We hooked up after she passed her final exams. She texted me the next morning saying she didn't need therapy that week because the sex was so good. But I ended it because she was deader than her clients in bed.

Age 29

The Legal Case

A high powered lawyer for a large political party. She needed a regular hookup but was too busy for dating. When I took off my pants and got hard, she said , "Oh thank god." I guess I'm a grower.

Age 35

The Silly Goose

A witchy comedy writer who I somehow got the attention of by wearing a tank top in public and yes-and-ing her bits. Our friends find us insufferable. I love my Goose to bits.

Disclaimer: All names and identifiable details have been modified to protect the reputations of our contributors in the eyes of their partners, colleagues, and parents.

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